Nastygram no. 532875A4D
Posted by Exile on May 1, 2006
From: Ismail Haniya, Palestine.
To: Osama Bin Laden, The Magic Grotto, Pakistan.
Greetings Osama my muslim brother. May the peace of Allan wash over you like a tsunami and cleanse you of your sins. May the dove of peace fly over you and crap in your beard.
You steaming pile of goat dung. What on earth do you think you were doing? How dare you go blabbering off to Al-bloody-Jazeera and the whole world that you are with us?
You twit! You goat-loving bearded idiot! We’ve been doing everything we could for years to cover the fact that we are in cahoots with you and you go and unilaterally declare your undying support for us over here. You pillock! Do you realise the damage you have done? Now we’ll never get the billions we were relying on from the USA to finance the war against the sons of Zion. You asshole! I’ve got all my guys on damage control now.
And while I’m about it, tell your lackey Al-bloody-Zawahari to button it as well. He’s not helping, you know?
The least you can do next time, is ask us first if we need the complimentary mention in your bloody one-sided dispatches.
Now get back into the cave and cover yourself with sack-cloth and ashes and don’t come out again until we say we´re ready. OK?
Loud mouthed bastard.
My fond regards to your goat.
The pretty one.
I look forward to seeing her again.