On the Wing

Flying in the face of widespread left wing extremism!

Sunday, Apocalyptic Sunday.

Posted by Exile on May 14, 2007

I’m not much of a conspiracy theory guy. I don’t speculate that much about who is doing to what to whom or why they are doing it and what are they trying to hide. It all gets a bit too silly to be interesting. But… imagine my dismay on reading the following headline in The Times; (and on a Sunday afternoon, no less.)

Vatican denies hiding the full truth about the end of the world.

Good God. The end of the world? And I’m missing it? Why do the Catholics get all the good stories first? I immediately grabbed the souvenir Greek rosary beads, switched on the TV and headed for all the news channels I could find. No. No-one was showing me the end of the world happening. Relieved, I fell back into my favourite armchair and lit my pipe. I knew somehow, that if the world was ending, I would have known about it. Or my wife would. Or at least, CNN would have had one of those smart brassy logos up on the screen to tell me so. Finding solace in that, I threw the souvenir Greek rosary back into the corner and continued to read.

The Vatican tried yesterday to draw a line under a conspiracy theory that has dogged the Catholic Church for decades – that it was harbouring details of the predicted apocalypse.
The Pope’s second-in-command, Secretary of State Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, denied that the Church was suppressing a vision of the end of the world said to have been revealed by the Virgin Mary to three shepherd children on a hillside at Fatima in Portugal exactly 90 years ago.

Hmm.. Decades. And Virgins. Had there ever been such a virgin mother, I thought, she bought the farm about 2000 years ago, not 90, so this didn’t seem to be alarming after all. I liked that title though. “The Pope’s second-in-command”. Cool. How very christian-soldierly. But still, this tale has all the necessary hallmarks of something biblical, the number 3, shepherds are mentioned and a hillside. And visions! Wow. Now we’re talkin’.

The three “Secrets of Fatima” were written down by one of the children, Lucia Dos Santos – who became a Carmelite nun – and sent to the Vatican in a sealed envelope. Two of the “secrets” were made public, apparently predicting the inferno of 20th-century world war and totalitarianism and the eventual reconversion of Communist Russia to Christianity.
Pope John Paul II suggested that the third “secret” predicted the 1981 attempt on his life. He failed to satisfy conspiracy theorists however, with many accusing the Vatican of disclosing only part of the last Fatima secret.

Well, that did it for me. A nun. And if the Pope can’t settle the minds of the conspiracy boys, then there has to be something to it. Doesn’t there? I mean, he is the man. Isn’t he? Direct descendant from Saint Peter and all that jazz. God’s second-in-command. One wave of his holy hand and we’re all done for. Don’t mess with this guy.

Antonio Socci, a Catholic journalist and author of The Fourth Secret of Fatima, said that he had at first accepted John Paul’s explanation. His researches led him to believe however that the late Pope’s revelation had been “partial”.
He said that the undisclosed portion of the “secret” predicted a crisis of faith in the West and the collapse of the Church hierarchy in the face of a tidal wave of “apostasy and heresy”. Marco Tosatti, a Vatican watcher and author of The Prophecies of Fatima, also said that the Vatican was believed to be “hiding something” so as “not to alarm millions of the faithful”.
But yesterday, as tens of thousands gathered at Fatima, 130 kilometres (81 miles) north of Lisbon, to mark the 90th anniversary of the “visions”, Cardinal Bertone insisted that the idea that the secret predicted “catastrophic world events” or the collapse of the Christian Church were “pure fantasy”.

Oh, well. What a let down. Tens of thousands turn up and it’s “pure fantasy” day. I thought so. From start to finish. Still, he is working damned hard to deny something here. The thing is, if it’s all fantasy, then why was it kept a secret? By the way, how does one research a “secret” that is being closely guarded by the Vatican? Where would one start? I can imagine the conversation. “Good morning Pope, I was wondering about this secret of yours…” Only to be told, very politely to “Bugger off and bother somebody else..”.
The good cardinal has been fighting conspiracy theories involving the Church, such as The Da Vinci Code, which he dismissed as a “pack of lies”. In “The Last Fatima Visionary: My Meetings with Sister Lucia”, Cardinal Bertone says that before her death in 2005 at the age of 97 the nun confirmed John Paul’s account of the “third secret”.

“There is no fourth secret,” he declared. “Everything has been published and correctly interpreted.” He hinted that “antiChristians” were behind the conspiracy theories.

Aha. It’s those bloody anti-christians again. Might have known it. Jews? Yes. It has to be a jewish conspiracy. It’s always a Jewish conspiracy. Unless it’s a right wing conspiracy. Or the CIA. Or a couple of kids that have been drinking wine and eating poison mushrooms or smoking pot and having a giggle or two.

In a preface to Cardinal (Pope, 2-I-C, remember?) Bertone’s book, Pope (God, 2-I-C,) Benedict XVI writes that publication of the “third secret” by his predecessor “unveiled the truth amid the confused framework of apocalyptic interpretations and speculation in the Church”.

The Fatima visions.

First secret.

“Our Lady showed us a great sea of fire which seemed to be under the earth. Plunged in this fire were demons and souls in human form, like transparent burning embers, all blackened or burnished bronze . . . ”

Second secret.

“ . . . If my requests are heeded, Russia will be converted, and there will be peace; if not, she will spread her errors throughout the world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church”

Third secret.

“A bishop dressed in white . . . falls to the ground, as if dead, after a volley of gunfire”

I thought, “Oooh! How very worrying. What happened to the fourth secret? You can’t leave me dangling here. Tell me about the apocalypse. I want to know. Because, if it’s going to happen tomorrow, then I don’t need to mow the bloody lawn.”
Which is my prime concern. I hate mowing the bloody lawn.

Still, the sea of fire seemed convincing.

Global Warming?


One Response to “Sunday, Apocalyptic Sunday.”

  1. Yorkshireminer said

    it is funny isn’t it how such drivel gets your attention, you find yourself being driven on by your curiosity to know more and more and then reality kicks in and you say what a load of bollocks

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