A Bastards Revenge
Posted by Exile on August 13, 2007
We cannot demonstrate on the 11th of september in Brussels. This is because of a very unwise decision by the Mayor of Brussels, Mr. Freddy Thielemans, MEP (Socialists). Noteworthy date. It is also Freddy’s birthday. Revenge will be mine.
When I was a child, one of the most popular childrens TV programmes was “Blue Peter”. This little gem of a BBC production was always full of great tips on how to make your own presents out of string, glue, sticky-back plastic and cardboard, pasta and lollipop sticks and the like. Inspired by that wonderful memory, I have come up with an idea for a present for Freddy.
You will need: A shoe box. Kitchen foil. A plastic freezer bag. Wrapping paper. Ribbon. A broad tip felt marker pen. Glue. Sticky tape.
Take these items with you to Brussels.
And this is what you do after arriving in Brussels.
Take the shoe box and line it by gluing the aluminium foil to the inside of the box and the lid. Then get your freezer bag and go take a huge crap into the bag, be careful not to spill.
Seal the bag and place it inside the box. Tape the box firmly shut. Wrap the box in wrapping paper and tie the ribbon around the box so that you have a nice looking, nicely wrapped package.
Take your felt pen and mark the box “To Freddy Thielemans. Happy birthday. Handle with care.”
Take this package with you to the centre of Brussels.
Now we have many options open to us. We can build a pyramid with these boxes in the middle of Brussels. We could leave them at strategically placed locations. Or on park benches. Or just outside the door of the European parliament. Or the Mayors office. Or you could just post it to him.
Either way, can you imagine the effect of the resulting “controlled explosions” that surely would follow the discovery of these thousands of boxes? If Brussels doesn’t stink now, it surely will after that little lot goes skyward.
Happy bloody birthday, Freddy.