Bring Out Your Dead
Posted by Exile on January 26, 2008
Some decidedly macabre stories have been featured in the Danish press this week, concerning our dear departed.
Yep. Dead people in the news.
Not murder victims or killed in road accident types but just ordinary dead by natural causes types. Why? Because they are causing us problems we never thought we’d have.
Story #1 concerns the morgue at Fredriksbergs Hospital, where the doors have had to be widened because people are fatter now at the point of death than they used to be.
Whether or not they died of obesity is not mentioned.
Story #2 is a little more interesting. It concerns exploding breast implants during cremation. Apparently the silicone reaches boiling point before the cadaver is burned and the breasts explode. This damages the crematoriums furnaces. (I use the word furnace because “oven” has other, more evil connotations). One might ask why the implants are not removed prior to the burning? Well, the undertaker is not allowed to cut into the body and doctors at the hospitals say they don’t have the time or inclination to do the necessary removal on a dead body. They are more concerned with the living. Private clinics, which are more than pleased to put implants in, are not so keen to have to remove them. The dead are not reknowned for paying the bill.
Story #3 is a winner. This is green to the core and gets my vote as the recycling story of the year. Al Gore would love this. The Copenhagen Post did so well reporting it, I have decided to bring their article here;
After cremation, artificial joints and other ‘spare’ parts are sifted from the remains and recycled, reports Holstebro-Struers newspaper.
The parts include screws, steel thread, plates, splints and other material that can be re-used to patch up broken bones or slipped hips.
‘We’re talking about relatively expensive material here and have therefore struck a deal with a Dutch company who collects the pieces after cremation,’ said cemetery manager, Aksel Stigaard from Holstebro. He also noted that it was increasingly more common to use implants and this was evident in what remained after a cremation.
The agreement with the Dutch company was approved by the Church Ministry. Proceeds from the sales are evenly split between the crematoriums across the country. Holstebro Crematorium entered the agreement three years ago and received their first cheque last year. ‘We received about DKK 3000 so it’s not really an amount worth mentioning,’ said Stigaard.
All this set me thinking. To get all these various stories in the news in one week, there must have been a lot of fat women with breast implants and false hips out there, that died recently.
Otherwise, you just wouldn’t hear about stuff like this.