Syria.

A shakespearean tragedy.

Somewhere in Damascus.

 

Enter the Foreign Minister….

FM (excited): Mr. Bashar, Sir. May the rivers of milk and honey flow from your ears.

Bashar: Thank you. And yours. What’s up?

FM(excited still.): We’ve received another communiqué from the UN Sir.

Bashar: I see. What does it say?

FM: They’re condemning us, oh mighty president, Sir.

Bashar (Stands up): Really? To what, exactly, are they condemning us?

FM (trembling): Er.. hang on, your eloquence, just having a quick read.. blah.. blah.. condemn.. blah.. murder of the innocents… blah… blah… Banki Moon..
Uhm.. They don’t say, Sir.

Bashar (Sits again.): Oh. Well. That’s annoying. Are they expecting an answer?

FM: I don’t think so, oh magnificent one.

Bashar: Hmmm… OK. Not to worry. How’s it going in Homs?

FM: Wonderful. We’ve slaughtered a shed load of ‘em today.

Bashar: Good. Carry on.

FM: Very well, your almightiness. What should I do with this communiqué?

Bashar: The same as you did with the last one.

FM: Ah, yes. The sanctions are working. No toilet paper….
(exits left.)

(Curtains.)